What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
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