none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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