Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
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So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
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all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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