No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There's always time for handjobs
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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