he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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