One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I'm having to shit out rocks
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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