I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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