Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize