Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Welp...herpes.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize