I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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