I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize