Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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