xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize