Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
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I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
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Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Randomize