Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize