I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I just found puke in my bra..
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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