From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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