Dude my mom stole all your condoms
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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