that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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