I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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