I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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