first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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