Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
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She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
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We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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