His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
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My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
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What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
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