Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize