just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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