why didn't you poke me back
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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