His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
whose ass print is on the piano?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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