just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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