I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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