the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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