He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize