The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
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he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
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I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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