Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
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I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
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The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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