you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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