Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
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Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
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You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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