Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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