PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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