Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
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New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
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They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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