I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
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By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
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For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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