I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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