also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
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The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
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He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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