I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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