Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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