you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize