Umm I'm too high to move.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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