i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
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