I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
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