Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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