new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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