Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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